Back
to "Dear Busty BriAnna" Main Page"Dear Busty BriAnna..." The Best of My Fan Mail
Archive 12
______________________________
~ Best-Kept-To-Yourself Dept. Pt.1 ~
Q* "busty,
i love your
big tits. and i always masturbate to your picture with my 4in
penis. sometimes i fuck my blow up
doll when i see your big sexy tits
picture"
A*
...He writes in his letter that his penis is only 4 inches and he fucks a blow-up
doll?! Gee... thanks for sharing that info! (next
letter please...)
..........
.....
Q* "Dear Busty BriAnna,
I just wanted
to drop you a line and tell you how much I've enjoyed your
website and photos! I know you
probably get hundreds of letters a week.
Lucky you. All
I got in my mail box this week was a rock!"
..................
.....
~ Future
Veterinarian Dept. Pt.2 ~
Q* "Dear Busty
BriAnna,
I think it's
wonderful what you're doing for animals and I wish you luck
towards your veterinary studies.
However, while you're busy healing pets,
have you thought of all the
heart palpitations you're going to be giving
their male
owners?! :-)"
...............
Q* "Hi Busty,
Have you
received your license to operate on us yet?
We're all sick pups out
here!..."
........
~ Hate Mail Dept. Pt.2 ~
Q* "To Ms.
BriAnna,
Thank-you for
ruining a perfectly good camping trip!
My girlfriend & I discovered a
magazine, featuring you, in a male friend's
knap sack! Talk about
degrading-to-women poses! After going through the
entire magazine, my
girlfriends & I were nauseous for the rest of our stay!"
A*
You probably didn't cook the magazine long enough!
..........................................
....
Q* "Dear Busty BriAnna,
I would like
to remain a member of your club, but before I do I need you
to take care of something first. I recently received
a notice from you... to
renew my membership. I see that you're good at taking the money
in, but
what
about meeting your part of a membership?
From your (infrequently
updated) website:
TNTits Membership includes:
*Personally handwritten letter sealed with a kiss from
Busty BriAnna, so that
you can become better acquainted!
*A TNTits Membership Card that entitles you to a 20%
discount off any of
Busty BriAnna's merchandise!
*One nude color 8x10 autographed to you!
*One 16x20 color poster autographed to you!
*Birthday & Christmas surprises!
*One year's free subscription to my quarterly
newsletter!
I never received anything
for my birthday and only a Christmas card
(which was in poor taste). I think I'll join Lisa Lipps
fan club instead.
She sent me a very lovely Christmas card... and I have
never even been a
member of her club!..."
NOTE:
You have just read the letter that inspired (OK, angered me into
creating) the About
TNTits page!... particularly the "Updates"
and "Risque Humor" sections!
A*
First, let's start with the "infrequently updated" pun: As I explained
in the
"Updates" section, I was going
through some very tough times in '99... so
EXCUSE ME if I didn't feel like updating a
FREE website!
And as for 2000, check out TNTits now and you'll
see that I'm updating
weekly!
Which brings me to my next point:
TNTits is a TOTALLY FREE ACCESS
website! If I charged a monthly fee (which 99%
of all other adult sites do!) to
access my photo archives, then
you'd
have every right to complain about
infrequent updates! What was I suppose
to do?... quit college so I have all
day to work on a website?
As for your membership package: According to my records, you did receive
your membership card, 8x10, poster, handwritten letter,
and four newsletters
a year!
Since most people are surprised to
receive birthday and Christmas
cards, THAT'S what was meant by"surprises"!
What did you expect?...
a $1000. gift certificate to Giorgio Armani?! I mean, it's
an adult fan club
membership... not a Trump card! I have since changed "surprises" to
"cards"
on the "Fan Club Info" page.
Yes, I admit, I forgot
your birthday, (and I do apologize for that) but that's
probably because of the fact that it's the same day as Christmas! I had
approximately 200 holiday cards to send out to friends, fans &
family, so I
really wasn't thinking 'birthday'... I'm human!
I forget things at times just
like everyone else!
As for my cards being in "poor taste": I love adult humor... is that a
crime?
I mean, what did you expect from a site
called "TNTits"?! And as I explained
in the
"Risque Humor"section... what one person finds funny, another
won't!
Thus, your complaint about my Christmas cards led to the
"warnings"
about the "TNTitsWit" and "Best of Fan Mail" pages, as well as actual
Fan Club membership. Are you
planning to sue the company that
printed the
card? (that was a joke... smile!)
As for the pun about receiving a card from Lisa Lipps even though you
weren't a member of her club: According to my
records, you won both a
calendar and a t-shirt via my TNTits Contest BEFORE becoming one of my
Fan Club members! Yet your letter implies that I'm some
kind of greedy bitch
that wouldn't give my fans the time of day!
For
starters, NO website is required to have any type of "give-away"
contest in the first place... yet I (the supposed-greedy-bitch) have one! I started
it as a promotional gimmick for my website; and because
of the positive
response from it, I decided to make it a permanent feature.
Another case-in-point: MANY of the other girls in this business will NOT
respond to
written fan mail without a s.a.s.e., yet I will... domestic
OR international. Plus, my information fliers are now 10 pages
thick, costing
60¢
each to send locally and over $1 each to send internationally (which adds
up
when you're sending out hundreds each month). If I'm so
"greedy",
why am I doing that?
Another case-in-point ( and at the risk of sounding
repetitive): TNTits is a
TOTALLY FREE ACCESS website! Even when I add the
"Members" section,
the current free sections will STAY that way!
Does a "greedy" person do
this?!
Final case-in-point: When an item
someone orders from my catalog must be
back-ordered, if it takes longer
than 4 weeks, I include a TNTits Gift
Certificate worth $20. off any
future order for the inconvenience! Am a still
only interested in
"taking the money in"?
Finally, getting back to
Lisa Lipps: If you want to join her club, then fine...
JOIN it! She's a beautiful woman! I am not
jealous-of or threatened by any of
my fellow performers... in fact, I believe in sharing!
(threesome, anyone?)