"Dear Busty BriAnna..." The Best of My Fan Mail

Archive 14

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~ BriAnna-Sighting Dept. Pt.1 ~

Q* "Hi BriAnna,
          Just a cute NYC cop wanting to say 'hi'!

A* Hello. By the way ...I'm already "busted"!
...........

Q* "Dear Busty B.,
          I'm just letting you know that I saw you coming out of Portofino
      Suntan Salon last weekend. 
        I just thought I'd tell you this."

A* So THAT'S where I was!

~ ...Just Spit It Out! Dept. ~

Q* "Dear BB,
          I live in Columbus, I was wondering if you come anywhere near your old
       hometown??? If so, could we, well I am so shy and so endowed and so
       insecure and so willing to show you and only you my....."

A* The letter really ended like this! Was he too "shy" or too "insecure" to finish
       it? Nah! I think he was just too "endowed"!  :-)

.....,......
Q* "Dear Busty BriAnna,
          Um, ah...um....where do I start? OK, um...ah....um....well for starters ...my
       name is (omitted). Oh shit, here goes... you only live once... and life is short...
       right?... so I will just come out and say it already...
          Point blank: Would you be willing to use this guy (me) strictly for hot,
       sticky, sweaty, acrobatic, double-jointed, calorie burning, no strings 
       attached, marathon sex and then kick his ass to the curb when it's over? :-)  
           You would!!!! OH, that is so awesome!!!! Thank you, Brianna!!! 
       Wow, that was easier than I thought!!! :-)
          Yeah, I know, I know... (((Beeeeeerrrrrrrrriiiiiiiinnnnnnnggggggg))) 
      It's the 'Clue Phone'!!!"

......

~ Future Veterinarian Dept. Pt.3 ~

Q* "Dear BriAnna,
          Have you ever considered that because you are brainy your brains must be 
       in your tits: The brain has two hemispheres... so do your tits. The brain has
       two frontal lobes... so do your tits... but your tits' frontal lobes are so much
       prettier. The brain has a cleavage... so does your tits. The brain can
       think... now looking at your tits BriAnna, I bet your tits can think too..."

A* Damn, it figures! It's only been two years since I studied "Anatomy &
      Physiology" and already it appears  that I'm out-of-date on this new 
      medical breakthrough!   :-)

........
.......
Q* "Hey Busty,
          I was just curious... What would you do if one of your professors (in a real
       hard subject) said he'd guarantee you an "A" if you sleep with him?"

A* Get it in writing!!

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